Rector's Reflections: Rain Barrels and Light
Dear Friends,
I was in a clergy Zoom session this week discussing "Ambiguous Grief". Perhaps you read articles about ambiguous grief sometime during this pandemic, or maybe you've never heard the phrase. Either way, it's a thing that can sneak up on us.
Our habit of comparing our losses to others (sometimes downplaying our own as "lesser losses") and our various survival mechanisms that help us to keep grief at bay while we function and move about in the world, these things can cause us (understandably) to neglect the real impact of our collective, personal, generational, and ambiguous grief. And then the pressure builds up.
I think of it as a rain barrel. We collect loss and grief until we are ready to process our feelings in a quiet moment or with a trusted friend, therapist, or family member. We hold things until we can sit and pray and acknowledge that God holds them with us. This is happening throughout our lives. But the ambiguous losses of the pandemic (so many small and large things lost or changed everyday) accumulate and our rain barrel fills faster.
And then the spill-over sneaks up on us.
In our homes we have various health issues and unexpected bills; visits to the veterinarian, the urgent care, the Covid vaccination or testing sites; job interviews; job losses; plumbing problems; car problems....the list goes on....I am sure you have some to add.
In the world, the news continues to make our heads spin. The trauma of the world is overwhelming.
Our rain barrels spill over.
In this Sunday's gospel, Jesus says everything will come tumbling down; there will be war, famine, and earthquakes. But these things will tell us that something new is about to be born. And so we have hope. Yet the grief is still real.
If any of this rings true for you, I pray that you are being gentle with yourself, I pray that you have soft places to land, someone to speak with, permission to cry. I also pray that you feel the hope of something new on the horizon. It is real- as real as your grief, and lighter in weight.
Yours in Christ,
~Becky
P.S. A little balm for the soul today:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
And, if you watch the video, enjoy his appreciation of each member of the band at the end. We all are valued for doing our part; each part different.
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